Swimming is my life and I truly love it. Part of my passion in the sport are my role models and influences. I look up to you and always will. I’m hoping you can forgive me in the future and continue to be our coach even with all of the publicity, good and bad. I’m aware that this was a tough year with the alcohol and prescription drugs but I don’t want my pictures being a burden against the Australian team.
I’m dearly sorry about the pictures I posted on twitter. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal because I see my friends posting them all the time. Then I came to my senses and told myself I’m not like normal girls, I’m an Olympian who needs to live up to my name. By choosing my path to become an Olympic swimmer, I decided not to be a normal girl who went to parties, got drunk, and could post anything they wanted on websites without being looked down upon. Now I have to live with my mistakes and pay for the consequences.
I'm also very sorry about my tweets about Matthew Mitcham. It was a disrespectful anger rage that should have been held back. I was offended that he called me homophobic, and immediately I wanted revenge. Even though Matthew has been my friend for two years, I still wanted to crush him in a bunch of little ways. Therefore it lead me to post an offensive post on twitter. As I recall I think this is what I said, "Suck on that faggots. Probs the best game I've ever seen!! Well done boys." He had all the right to dish that same line at me after i screw up my performance, but he didn't. I know he forgave me but I'm not so sure about all the other guys on the rugby team.
If I could go back and change everything I would. I believe everyone deserves a second chance and I know, usually the people who use that saying are the people who are desperate for a second chance. My mom always used to say we learn from our mistakes and now from experience, I know that statement is true. So I am asking that this be a live, learn, and move on situation. There’s always the next Olympics.
Coach, you were there for me in December, 2011 when I underwent surgery on my right shoulder after tearing a tendon while we were training. You witnessed me overpower myself because all I wanted to do was achieve my dream. You knew that, therefore you kept your confidence in me knowing I could return better than ever in record time. That was probably the largest confidence boost I’ve ever felt, knowing that someone truly believed in me to be the best. After watching my performance, I blamed it on my surgery. I know, I only told myself that so I wouldn’t have to admit that I could do better. I just wanted to thank you for all the effort you have put in my life.
Sincerely,
Ricey
Dear Girls,
I’m sorry for letting you guys down by not medaling. I know I told the public I wasn't fully recovered from my shoulder surgery, but you know as well as I do that it was all just in my head and an excuse for not doing my best. I got caught up in being big, and a star. I forgot to focus on myself and my swimming. I know we all made some mistakes this year including the guys but that’s no excuse to not do better in the next Olympics!
I’m debating on swimming next year because of the series of events. The next Olympics could be the best or worst thing to do in my Olympic career. I am still young and know I could physically do it but I’m not so sure about mentally. We weren't very close as a team and I’m truly sorry for that. As many people did not, I thought coach Nugent was an excellent coach. He spent a lot of "one on one" time with us but eventually that made me realize that we weren't getting enough team socializing time. I honestly believe if we all would have been closer we could have solved this toxic culture. I know you girls need friends just as much as I do, so why didn't we put two and two together before it was too late. I'll never have the answer to that, but maybe we can fix it for upcoming years.
We could have worked out together, talking about our feelings towards the olympics. I believe that would have made us closer if we expressed our emotions. We did things together but nothing that involved talking about the future. After I posted those bikini pictures, I realized I needed more friends that were more like me. Normal girls can do that and I feel left out so in order to stay an olympian and in the Australian swim pack, I want to get closer with you girls. I think it will be a fun and beneficial experience.
I would have done anything to go back in time and fix our relationships but what’s done is done and we need to move on. Michelle, I wish I would have taken you up on swimsuit shopping before we departed for London. I thought I was too good to go shopping and assumed I would have to sign a million autographs if I showed my face in public. It's true, fame does destroy everyone, especially friends. It's a mental game I know we all play and regret. Obviously, I've had some experience with regrets.
Congratulations to Alicia, Cate, Britt, and Mel for getting us a gold medal in the 4x100 freestyle relay team! Even though I was upset that I myself did not earn any medals, I got a burst of joy and hope when I saw you girls with the smiles and flowers. You guys were strong in heart and head, therefore you accomplished your dream. I'm honored that you are representing the Australian name.
Sincerely,Ricey
Dear Guys,
I know how hard all of us have worked and I feel by my mistakes and the entire teams mistakes, we have stereotyped the Australian name and for that, I am sorry. Not only do I regret posting those pictures, I’m sorry for letting down the Australian name. I shouldn't even pay attention to social media sites especially right before the Olympic games. I'm sorry for getting involved with one of your guys. That was a great part of my life but I should have thought about it a little harder.
Eamon Sullivan was a close friend who knew all my secrets and then he revolved into my boyfriend. The connections were strong and deep but weren't meant to be. The Olympics were yet another big part in my life at the time so we departed after two years. In conclusion, the Olympics have intensely high stress levels.
Even though the medals weren't high in numbers this year, you guys still did great. It takes a lot to do, what we do, never forget that. The stress is barbaric and sometimes it leads us to make bad decisions. Even if we don’t see them as bad decisions at the time. Stilnox is not on the banned substance list so I don’t understand why they had to announce it and make it such a big deal about it. That was personal information that did not need to be shared. Once something is said on the internet it can never be taken back no matter how much money is involved. I know there is false information spreading like wildfire but there’s nothing we can do about it. I hope the next Olympics are better.
Sincerely,
Ricey
